I know I say "I'm back" and then I stop writing... well, hopefully that will stop now. I have had to deal with some issues that have strongly encouraged me not to post anything to my blog or social media for that matter, but I have recently made the decision that I am going to push forward with my new life, and I am taking it in a new direction.
I have a new job, which I am thrilled about. That's right- I will be working full-time, so I will be able to have some new challenges and insight to talk about, which hopefully some of you will be able to relate to.
I have made some really great strides lately, and have reached some, what I like to consider, "profound realizations". LOL! I am not who I was before my injury, and I will never be- but, I am really starting to like the person that I am now. It has taken me a few years to get to know myself again, and I have some definite quirks- but, oh well, I have no choice but to deal with them.. I have also aged a few years, so in combination with my TBI and age, I am really starting to care a little less of what the outside world tends to think. LOL!!!
It has been FIVE and 1/2 years since my TBI. How long has it taken you to finally start to like who you are since your TBI? Are you there yet?
I am here for you- let me know! <3
Until next time,
I am not sure if you have experienced this, but though I am beginning to physically feel a bit more aligned and healthy, I am still struggling. I was fortunate to be able to work the school-year last year, and this year we moved to another part of town- a new and exciting opportunity for my family! :) Though I am enjoying my family and the new experiences, I am not able to find work... I did finally get called back for an interview, but based on the lack of response I am going to guess that it is not a position I was able to secure.
I am a firm believer that all things happen for a reason, and that work outside my home may not be the path I need to be on right now; however, it still does not lessen the stress that there could be more I could be doing. I still get headaches in the afternoon, but the severity is not as bad as it used to be (though, I guess my comparison is to the headaches I had while I was working), but I still would like to try to work again. I love being able to be there for my husband and children, but I also enjoy the feeling of independence I get from working and earning my own income. I am often overwhelmed by the frustration I feel about not being able to do the latter, and I feel some guilt about even wanting to work outside of my home in the first place.
Do you ever experience this? I know I am not alone in this frustrating struggle.
How do you balance that desire to want to do something you were once so good at, with the different abilities you now have?
I am still trying to figure this out, and it is so frustrating for me.
If you have the answer or some insight, please share.
Please share your insights and wisdom. Maybe you can help guide one of us down the correct path!
Thanks for reading.
I'll get right to it today. So in the last couple of weeks, I have seen some some dramatic changes in my physical and mental well-being (mental likely due to the decrease in physical pain and the increase in the feeling of attachment to my own body). I started attending "massage" at a wonderful place called Precision Massage in Peoria, AZ (I am not getting paid by them, this is for real). Their approach is not like the typical relaxation massage, it actually uses precise target points to relieve pressure to areas that need it most, and help everything to align in the process (so goes my understanding/interpretation). (It is technically called "Precision Neuromuscular Therapy (PNMT)" ). All I really know is that after my incident, I always felt like my head tilted to the left and that I had to physically move my right ear down towards my right shoulder in order to see straight- and- AFTER ONLY ONE SESSION WITH STACEY- I could see straight. I'm not going to try to BS you and lie and say that the whole time it felt wonderful and I heard birds singing, but it did not cause pain, I felt good, and I was never in any sort of actual pain, just a strange discomfort which I imagine is built-up from 4.5 years of incorrect muscle alignment; it became very evident and very relaxing when my muscle relaxed though! It was great!. It has been two weeks now, and I can still hold my head above my shoulders without any pulling and everything looks straight (besides the double vision, that is!). :)
WELL WORTH IT!
This week, I tried cranial sacral massage with Laura and had an introduction to core strengthening (with nervous system focus) and yoga nidra with Faith. My cranial sacral massage incorporated harmonics into the table I lied on, and was extremely relaxing. I totally understand that this method of alternative therapy is debatable- I have read the pro and con articles and opinions. However, I believe that I am willing to try anything at this point that is not more medication in my body to help me feel better and continue my path to feeling whole, and to feeling like the "best me" possible. With that said, I really enjoyed my experience. I also think I even looked better after. When I looked in the mirror, some of the dark circle below my eyes had diminished, and I looked and felt very relaxed and refreshed at the same time. The introductory strength was not what I expected.
I think most people think strength training will involve weights, a whistle, and someone standing over them yelling. (I would not respond very well to those right now... well, I likely never responded well to someone yelling at me). Well, let me tell you it was nothing like the standard expectation. Faith is a very sweet and knowledgeable lady, who actually helped me learn to walk better by having me lie down on a table and practice. I did not realize how difficult it is for my to hold one hand straight and move the other up, while at the same time moving one leg and foot and holding the other... it was a workout without feeling like I worked-out! Once I was done, I experienced yoga nidra, which takes one to a state between being awake and being asleep and provides a sense of relaxation equivalent to one of the best naps I have ever had- in 15 minutes. It really was fantastic, and I actually look forward to working-out again! Maybe I will even learn to stand without falling and - dare I say- maybe even be able to *lightly* jog again with some sense of coordination- WOOHOO! A girl can dream!!!
I will keep blogging about my new alt treatment. I will be doing some regular medical treatment starting again in October this year, but as I stated, I feel as though I have enough medication and would really like to keep the addition of anymore off the list of options.
WHAT TREATMENTS HAVE WORKED BEST FOR YOU?
P.S. If you are interested in checking out the website for Precision Massage, check out this site! precision-massage.com/home/
Be the reason someone chose not to give-up.
Photo credit to https://beacon.wharton.upenn.edu/entrepreneurship/2014/11/scale-your-mindset/