11 Years and Counting...

  Well, it has been 11 years this October since "the fall that changed my life". To say life has been easy since then would be a lie, but it would also be a lie to say that it has all been bad. My brain injury, though one of the worst things I have ever experienced, has taught me so much. 
  I am still missing a lot of my initial memory, and time is a huge jumble. My Dad died less than a year after my injury, and there are times I spent with him that I see pictures of, but I do not recall; this same issue applies to the photos I see of myself with my children and husband during that time, and I cannot recall the event at all. This loss of memory still stirs-up sadness, but the positive is that there are other memories that have started to randomly "pop-up" and though they are usually tied to a strong emotion (so I was either really happy, or really not happy), at least I am remembering something! :) 
  During the last 11 years I have lost people who I thought were my friends, and I have grown closer to those who truly are my friends. My circle is much smaller now, but I know with 100% certainty my friends are truly my friends and are not seasonal. Though I am thankful for the friendships I have had in the past, they were fleeting, and it was painful to lose contact with so many people.
  My children tell me that they love the "new me", and that the old me was "too uptight". Haha! The new me is much more relaxed. I think it is because I don't sweat the little things like I used to, and I don't take-on so much anymore. I set many more boundaries, and I set my limits. I have to do this, or I will not get anything done. I also focus on what is important, and that is my family- whomever I deem that to be.
  As time goes on, I am still getting reminders that my brain needs a band-aid (to say the least). I still randomly stumble, walk into walls, stutter and forget words, cry randomly and at inappropriate times (and just cannot stop sometimes! Ugh!), and my memory- let's not even talk about that! Regardless, I am really starting to accept that what I have gone through has helped me and my soul grow in more ways that I would have ever imagined.. I am so fortunate that I am able to work, and I have been teaching now for going on seven years- and I love it- stress and all. There are some REALLY HARD DAYS, but I manage, even if I am 100% faking it through the day. Kids are smart though- they can tell when I am off. LOL. I plan to work as long as I can, especially since I have to. HAHAHA! (I mean, I guess it is really not funny, but I don't know how else to deal with all the financial setbacks the TBI caused as well). My husband is so strong, and even if he doesn't always believe me when I tell him, I don't know how I would be making it through without him. 
  I still wish you all the best, and I continue to wish you growth and recovery.
​                                                                  - Rocky